Everything is just fresh in my mind. The laughter, tears, dreams and all the memories we shared. I grew up with my grandparents and that's why I am more close to them than my parents. I am my two grandpa's youngest daughter. They treat me like a precious angel and they give me the sweetest gifts ever even if I always cry and looking for my parent's attention when I was still younger.
|This perfectly illustrates me and my lolos. (photo credits: flickriver.com)|
To my Lolo T (maternal side):
Lo, it's been five years since you left and without you makes everything so hard for me. I can't keep up with my mother so much until lately. You always told me to always understand her because she used to be your princess and she gets what she wants. Lo, I miss hearing your laughter, I miss looking at your beautiful smile, I miss how I make lambing to you so I could get what I was asking you. I just miss everything about you. It hurts that every time I wanted someone to understand me during times that I am so down, you are not there anymore that I can run into anytime.
I am so lucky that you picked me as your favorite grandchild, even if it makes my aunts, uncles and cousins jealous of me. I can still remember the moments that I ask you something, you always give it to me secretly so Lola won't find out. You always get mad at me when I skipped school and you are always there every time I am bored. You always make me laugh of you and Lola's love story and how she acts like a hard-to-get one.
The time you were in the ICU, I can't say anything. My heart is broken and words won't come out of my mouth. Seeing you in such situation is so much for me to take in. I skipped my periodical exams (I was first year high school then) just to take good care of you in the hospital and I know you don't like me skipping my classes, but I have to. I couldn't say a word when you were comatose and I just held your hand. I should have been with you the last few days that you were active. But I wasn't!
I still miss you every single day. And I wish I can run into you again to find strength. I missed and love you so much. I will see you soon and I know you are happy now in the place where there is no pain and sadness. ♥
To my Lolo R (paternal side)
Hi Lolo. I miss you too, don't get jealous with Lolo T. You are always in my mind every single day. Both of you. And you know what? I am the luckiest girl in the world to have the coolest grandpa in the world. You never fail to make me happy and you never fail to show love even if in the toughest time of my life as a teenager. You are always there to support me in every single step of the way. I miss you hugs, I miss you carrying me when I fall asleep in the couch and move me into my room, I miss you picking up those guavas in our backyard, I miss you making me wooden toys, I miss you calling me Inday.
It hurts to recall that I wasn't with you when you left this world. I can't still help but cry when I remember that moment. I regret I didn't took the chance of flying just to be with you that very moment. You didn't told me you were seriously ill. I only knew it when you were gone!
Lo, you were so unfair. You told me you will be with me the moment I have my own publishing house that I promised you when I was in grade six. But you left so early. I was on my last year in high school then when you called.
I wouldn't have thought that after five years of being apart, that we will be in touch again. But, I didn't expect that it would be the last. Five long years and there's never a day that I haven't thought of you. I received a call from an unknown number and I answered it. I said "hello" in a lame voice and when I heard "Inday..." that the caller said, there's no word I needed to confirm who's calling. I knew it was you and I was crying my heart out already. I still remember the words you said and I think I wouldn't be able to forget those. You never told me you were in the hospital bed already... You only asked me if I can come to Jimenez which my parents doubted that I can since it's far and I have school. If only I knew, I wouldn't hesitate to go. I regretted that I didn't even ask why. You should have told me Lo. What hurts more is that after three days after your call, you passed away.. I didn't even have the chance to see and hug you.
Ang daya mo naman Lo eh. Di man lang ako nakapagpaalam.
Nevertheless, I still love you and it will never change. I will see you someday, that's for sure. I'm sure that you and Lolo T are having a great time up there with Our Father. And I also know you are keeping an eye on me.
Even to this day, I still cry for all the memories. I soooooo miss you two. ♥
And for that, here's a poem for the two most amazing and coolest grandpa in the whole world...
|photo credits: monstermarketplace.com|
He taught me how to build a fire;
he gave me hope and desire.
He taught me how to build a chair;
he told me that life wasn’t fair.
He watched all my game;
and treated me like fame.
He bought me ice-cream
and listened to my every dream.
I talked to him everyday,
we never ran out of things to say.
Without him I don’t know who I’d be,
but one things for certain I wouldn’t be me.
He taught me how to be just like him,
and I already am within.
Kisses to both of you. I love you sooooo much and you will always be the greatest men of my life. ♥